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[03 Dec 2005|07:40pm] |
Ohhay. I made another LJ a long time ago because I am done with this one.
And am deleting it pretty soon. I don't know why.
If you read my posts, then add me: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) se_sentir
If you don't read my posts, then don't add me.
thankyoubye♥
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[03 Dec 2005|06:12pm] |
I feel like..I don't know, like flying around campus or something. I haven't drinken this much coffee in so long. I bought a half-pound of Tully's coffee like 2 days ago..it's GONE. Going going gone. My blood is racing in my veiiiiins.
I should just stick to my decaf tea.
SUFJAN Christmas music is basically the best thing there is, just so you know. No, seriously. I am in such a good mood right now, even if it isn't snowing here. My whole family is in Minnesota right now for Peter's choir concert and Johnny keeps sending me pictures of the snow and I'm like whateveh, I'm good. I don't need the snow to get all hyped for Christmas. Seriously though..you cannot live in the dorms and NOT be in the Christmas spirit. It just isn't possible to be Scrooge here. That's a good thing!
Collegecollege.
Transfer apps are due in March, overall.
I've been hearing things about UBC, and I
guess it's extremely difficult to get into.
My grades are not intended for schools that
are extremely difficult to get into. BLAH.
I am sort of excited to visit colleges, though.
I'm not sure where; yet the idea of Canada seems
pretty rad. I don't want to go to school in Oregon
or California or Minnesota, or, oddly enough,
Washington, and for some reason I've made those
my only US choices. My mom wants me to move to
Chicago.
I'm just going to be honest..I mean, okay. The idea of majoring in International Studies is incredibly alluring. I KNOW that the only way I'll be able to see the world right now is to BE educated. And I would love to study the world and see it and live it and all of that. But really? As with most people my age around this time, I am so turned off to school right now. Yes I love to learn, yes I love to know about things that I am interested in. Yet I would just love to be more independent and reliant on myself right now. I very much anticipate towards starting out with scratch and working my way up.
I am so spoiled to go to this incredible school. I really am. It's such a great place to live, learn, whatever. But honestly, I just want to ask for a plane ticket and a month's worth of rent money and GO SOMEWHERE and work and make my own way. Yes, I would go to school, but not at first. I want to be on my own. Not surrounded by 33 other women who I don't even know at all. times. of. the. day. You know? I just feel like there are people out there way more driven for education than I am that aren't able to go to school, and I feel like I am just taking up space. Everyone deserves an excellent education, and yes I am including myself, but I just feel like if I don't have my shit straight, why am I here?? I don't deserve this right now! I don't know, maybe I'm not mature enough to be in college. Maybe I'm not meant for college. But then again, I am aware that I am not morally capable of just dropping this altogether and never coming back to it. I know that isn't an option. Which is good! I just...gahh. It's hard to write out but it feels good trying to at least attempt in making some sense of it. I am just way taking this for granted. I know I need to be working harder at adapting. I know. And I am doing better! I seek comfort, however, in the fact that I probably will be elsewhere next year. Gahh. My naivety is killing meeeeeee.
I desire to be worldly and thoughtful and rare. But how selfish is that?! It's like saying, 'Wow, I just wanna be SO GREAT.' I guess I just want to follow what I feel like doing. And for some reason, I am being rebuked for it here. Some have said, 'Sarah! You aren't in choir anymore?' 'Sarah, you're not a music major anymore?' 'Sarah, you're always in your room!' 'Saraaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' LEAVE ME BEEEEEEEE. I am a solitary creature, no longer some socialite. I care for whom I choose. I am polite and courteous to everyone. If you don't reciprocate it, my smile and words to you will be counterfeit. I am pretty sure I (for lack of better terms) bullshitted my entire way up until not too long ago. I have realized that the path less taken sucks a whole lot because people expect you to certain things. But you have got to listen to what you want, even if the dearest people disagree.
I feel like I have given up on a lot of people. The ones I still hold faith in are the ones I go home to. There are very precious few but I am always praying for everyone, no matter what has happened. I haven't been to church in months.
If you read this whole thing, here's a hug.
In other news...
Meet my other half. Jawn.
fin pour maintenant.
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| you mean..like, an f to a b flat is, like, a perfect fourth?? WHAAT? |
[01 Dec 2005|09:43am] |
i love some of the people in my theory class.
it makes me feel like i know what i'm doing.
..
university of british columbia
concordia university
queen's university
university of victoria
mcgill university
if you know anything about these schools, please share anything.
like even stuff you've heard about any of them.
seeerious.
hi.
i've started drinking a lot of coffee lately.
i don't have much to say..
PRAY FOR LEKE IN MALAWI.
ley-kay? leekee? laykah?
i feel christmas.
i need to go study..
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[01 Dec 2005|12:01am] |
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ITS DECEMBER.
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[27 Nov 2005|01:58am] |
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Ah, life. You tousle me so.
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[19 Nov 2005|09:50pm] |
NAME TEN THINGS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
ONE. shopping with my mother tomorrow in the city with scarves and starbucks and good conversation. i can't wait.
TWO. the freaking HOLIDAYS.
THREE. starbucks this time of year. you all know.
FOUR. my bubbieees.
FIVE. cody.
FIVE. tacoma friends..holy crap.
SEVEN. living in seattle, honestly.. this city is beautiful.
EIGHT. coldcoldcold weather.
NINE. getting mail!
TEN. freaking thom yorke.
TAG FIVE OTHERS:
ONE. lauren.
TWO. john.
THREE. karen.
FOUR. katie s.
FIVE. mae.
(or really whoever wants to)
So Gloria&Taylor came down from Bellingham today to hang out. We got dunch (or linner) in the city, and came back here to hang out. There is a Christmas tree on my floor with these old-fashioned big bulb lights all around it and the window. It absolutely glows. So we all hung out by the tree for like an hour and I am SERIOUSLY now in the Christmas spirit. Thanksgiving hasn't even happened, but man. And! All of today, the weather was frigid, and the entire city had a layer of hazy fog over it. I love it, I love it, I love it. This weather makes me feel so aliiiiiive..
I've also fallen in love with seeing my breath in the air.
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[08 Nov 2005|05:30pm] |
I am excited to go camping! I still have my friend Dave's copy of When Harry Met Sally and I have yet to watch it. iPod Nanos are thhhhheee best. Oh yeah, and I have an interview at Tully's tomorrow.
I am craving pancakes, because they look delicious.
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[08 Nov 2005|12:49am] |
I've abided by these self-proclaimed lessons. Most are the college norm, but I've grown to accept and embrace these. And if you like SPU or are thinking about SPU or are just simply wondering how the hell things have been, read dis.
Lesson 1: Never EVER get a dorm room right next to your RA's room. There will be people filtering in and out of their room all night long, pretty much..and there is always drama. And talking. And laughing and crying and conflict. It's never-ending, and you will hear all of it.
Lesson 2: People don't sleep here. They just don't. They enjoy watching their television programs on full volume after midnight; it's just something people do around here. They do not have a grasp at how uncourteous they're actually being. And they have yet to hear the concept of headphones.
Lesson 3: If you leave your door open often, you can kiss your sweet privacy farewell.
Lesson 4: Free time is the most valuable time. Make the most of every SECOND!
Lesson 5: You must become familiar with the bus system. Routes 17 (downtown), 13 (Queen Anne), and 31 (U-District) are the only ones you really need to know.
Lesson 6: Naps are perfectly acceptable right after an early class; don't let anyone tell you that taking a 10 am nap is wrong.
Lesson 7: In turn, naps late at night are okay, too. 9-11 pm naps are wonderful; don't listen to what they say about it.
Lesson 8: Don't ever ever ever be stupid like me and take an 8 am theory class every morning without the intent of majoring or minoring in Music. PLEASE. Do yourself a huge favor.
Lesson 9: The 24 hour Starbucks in U-Village is your new best friend, especially if your friends have cars.
Lesson 10: Yes, Starbucks and coffee in general are HUGE here. Get used to it if you haven't already (but it's okay to surrender to tea, too. Just don't lose those java roots).
Mmph. There you have it.
Sorry if it sucked.
♥
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[04 Nov 2005|10:38pm] |
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music |
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casimir pulaski day - sufjannnnn |
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I would like to take this time to say thank you to all the people who have so much love.. No, seriously..the last post I posted was tooootally not a 'hey, I want attention!' thing. It was totally in the moment, you know? I was having an official MOMENT. Gahh..I really haven't had one of those in so long. I have been doing so well with working out and eating right, so I have sub-consciously tried NOT to dwell on the whole appearance thing, and it's been going so well! Until last night, I just kindasorta had a random freak-out moment. Youu know. But yeah, the support was oh-so-amazingly wonderful, ladies (and Kniq)..honestly. I shed a little tear; I don't have any close girlfriends up here, and it was a cool reminder that there are still people out there who blow everyone here out of the water.
No, I'm not even kidding.. I miss you all more than you KNOWWW. I should have a party come Christmas break, and the theme will be 'The Coolest People Sarah Knows' party. Everyone's invited. If you're reading this, you're invited.
It probably won't happen, but hey I think it would be pretty fantastic.
If I could, I would at this time like to give you all a huge hug.
No, I mean it though.
Honestly though, I'm doing just fine. I feel lame for posting that thing last night. Of course I know that how I look in the mirror isn't what the people I love see. And they are the ones that count. So, duhh.
I want to know what everyone is doing!! I feel so out of the loop..I miss having familiar conversations. I miss my family waayy more than I thought. I am so proud of them. I miss everyone's random inside jokes. I miss Tacoma intimacyyy! I'm truly not trying to sound retarded, I am just so excited for when I can see everyone again. It'll happen sooooon!
I am a lucky, lucky chick to feel this much.
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[03 Nov 2005|08:45pm] |
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mood |
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beyyonnd annoyeddddddddddddddd |
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Ohh wow.
So you know those days where nothing fits you and you get so fed up with trying to find something to wear for your choir performance tomorrow night yet nothing fits (and black is supposed to be flattering on everrryone) so you end up crumpled up in the corner of your itty bitty closet bawling your eyes out because you don't want anyone seeing what you look like and you settle for a huge oversized fleece and sweatpants for the night because you're so ashamed of your own body and can't crawl away from the fact that you hate what you see and it's been so long since you've felt SEXYY????
YEAH! YOU KNOW??
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[03 Nov 2005|10:53am] |
Favorite _____
01. Gum: Extraaaa Peppermint.
02. Restaurant: Jai Thai, East West Cafe, El Toro, The HobNob, EspressOYourself, the Pho place (on Mildred), Indochine.
03. Drink: Orange Gatorade. I drink it by the gallon. Kinda. And black coffee, Seattle water, Americanos.
04. Season: The one between autumn and winter/winter. Yes please. Like now.
05. Type of weather: This.
06. Bread: Challah, whole-wheat anything (with seeds!!), Cheddar Garlic, Spelt.
07: Car: 2004 white Toyota Corolla LE.
08. Latte: Double tall non-fat extra extra hot 1/2 shot sugar-free almond. Or just an Americano, thanks. No room. Tall; triple shot. Watch out. Or just a plain latte from El Diablo..faaantastic.
09. Sport: Swimming.
10. Movie: The last movie I saw was Almost Famous.
11. Store: Istanbul Imports, the organic grocery store (PCC), World Market, Urban XChange (downtown Tacoma), Sephora, Buzzard's, Sonic Boom record store, Nordstrom, Target, Fred Meyer, Gap, Helo, Urban Outfitters. Daang.
When was the last time you _____
12. Cried: It's nice to admit that I cannot remember.
13. Played a sport: I quit swim team when I was in eighth grade. There.
15. Hugged someone: My roomie cause she is the BEST!
16. Kissed someone: Saturdayy.
18. Felt overworked: Wow, I miss that feeling. I go to SPU and am involved in the music program; therefore, I haven't overworked period. However, I worked hardcore before school so I guess that applies.
19. Faked sick: HAH! I actually do that often to avoid awkward social situations here.
20. Ate something: Guhh, last night?
What was the last _____
21. Word(s) you said: "Excuse me" ..I burped.
22. Thing you ate: RIIIIITZ.
23. Song you listened to: Love and Some Verses - Iron & Wine
24. Last thing you drank?: Orange Gatorade, I'm not gonna lie..
25. Place you wanted to be: Home.
26. Movie you saw: Almost Famous.
27. Song you sang: Wir eilen mit schwachen, doch emsigen Schritten - JS Bach.
Who was the last person you ______
28. Hugged: Lauren.
29. Cried over: I5.
30. text messaged: Jen.
31. Danced with: Wouldn't it be cool if I remembered? No I mean really, I love dancing..
32. Shared a secret with: Nobody..
33. Had a sleepover with: Lauren and I have a sleepover every night.
35. Went to a movie with: I can't remember that either; my life is boring.
36. Saw: Lauren and all the second sopranos from Women's Choir.
37. Were angry with: Mes parents; actually, not really them, just the particular situation at hand.
38. Drove somewhere: Fred Meyer a couple nights back. My RA let me drive a couple of girls on my floor to get groceries in Ballard. Tightttt.
Have you ever ______
39. Laughed until you cried: It wouldn't be very human of me to say 'no, never'..
40. Danced in the rain: Today, downtown Seattle with Caitlin, singing Simon & Garfunkel at the top of our lungs.
41. Kissed someone: I haaaaave. In the rain, too.
42. Done drugs: Nope.
43. Drank alcohol: Yes.
44. Partied 'til the sun came up: Of course, except the most recent occurrance happened to involve Sex and the City, The Ring crawling on the floor, and chips. I had to mention the chips.
45. Had a movie marathon: Of course.
46. Gone too far on a dare: Nahh.
47. Spun around till you got dizzy: Of courrrrse.
48. What time is it? 8:50 pee'm.
49. Name: Sairuh Krissteen Kee.
50. Gender: Chick.
52. Orientation: Straight.
54. State or province you live in: Vashtardt.
Play ______
55. I'm feeling: Frisky!
56. I'm listening to: Nothhhhing.
57. I'm doing: Waiting for 11.
58. I'm talking to: Aaaaabsolutely no one.
59. I'm craving: Something warm to driink.
61. I'm hating: That it doesn't rain like this everyday.
Love ______
62. Love is: Inexplicably the softest and hardest thing you will ever touch.
63. My first love: Michael Fitz, kindergarten.
66. Best love song: "Best Friend" by ToyBox.
67. Possible to be in love with 2 boys/girls at once?: No no.
68. When does love hurt?: All the time. But a good hurt, usually.
69. Are you in love: Immensely.
Opposite Sex_______
70. Turn ons: Passion; no fear to show it. Humor. Humility. Sensitivity. Strength. Faith.
71. Turn Offs: Hiding from oneself. Over-shyness; over-cockiness. Ignorance. Being oblivious.
72. Does your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter: Sure.
73. What style are you into? Dolgey.
74. What is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you? Talk to me. Tell me things. Be real. Show me your soouuul. That sweeps me away.
76. Are you the type of person to give and ask for number: NOoooOOOooo. I'm not Veronica.
This or that _______
77. Dog or cat: Dog.
78. Short or long hair: Mine's long.
79. Sunshine or rain: Today? Rain all the way.
80. Hugs or kisses: Mmphh. I can't say both!?
81. Xbox or ps2: Shut up.
82. Vanilla or chocolate: Dark chocolate like my soouuuulll.
83. Cars or motorcycles: I like whatever.
84. Coke or Pepsi: Diet Coke is gooood..
85. House party or club: House.
87. Freak or slow dance: I'm down for whatever, especially if it's with Katie Nelson.
Lately ______
88. How are you today?: I am great!
89. What pants are you wearing right now?: Black onesss. They're my old work pants.
90. What else are you wearing right now?: Uhh..brown tank top, white polo, both things of underwaries, red North Face parka, lacy pink socks, white Chucks.
91. What does your hair look like at the moment: Unwashed but it actually kinda looks neat; really wavy, like sex hair or something. I'm digging it.
92. What song are you listening to right now? A Whisper by Coldplay is juuuuuust ending.
93. How is the weather right now?: RAINY and wet and cold and I loooooove it.
94. What shoes are you wearing? White Chuck Taylor craps.
95. Last dream I can remember? I can't!
Your style_______
97. Clothes: Whatevs. Comfortable, and I like it to look somewhat decent at the same time, but I'm always up for negotiation.
98. Hair: Mine is long, somewhat of a blonde color, and 99% wavy when it dries, but I don't usually like the wavy so I straighten it. And sometimes when I'm feeling frisky, I curl it and make it all dolled up.
99. Shoes: Ehh, they vary. I like flip flops a lot. I have some regular tennis shoes, some random flats from Payless (actually, a ton like that)..I like different-looking shoes.
100. Food: Man. I am hungry right now. I haven't eaten today yet! Mmm, lunch is coming.
101. Blue pen or black pen: Blizzzacckk.
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[24 Oct 2005|11:27pm] |
I'm not even tired
and I'm going to sleep before midnight.
This, my friends..
is epic.
POST SCRIPT 12:24 am
What'd I tell you?
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[23 Oct 2005|05:43pm] |
This isn't a complaint post; it's an observant post.
I think I have come to realize why this still doesn't feel like home, after a month and some days. There are a couple of reasons, none of which I am complaining about it any way, I am simply observing and accepting.
First of all, I am on a floor with about 30 other girls. We do not live with eachother; we exist amongst one another. I think I miss living in an actual house, too, with real rooms and different colored walls and furniture.. Where I actually had privacy and if I wanted to keep to door shut, NOBODY would disturb me. Here, keeping doors open is almost required (it's not, but they strongly advise us to do so) If I am having a day where I just don't feel like talking to anyone, I still have to talk to a bunch of people and act happy.
I also strongly miss having a personal mode of transportation; my car is being sold because for some reason, my parents decided to do so. I'm miffed because they told me I could bring it second quarter; and I feel like a hypocrite because it was ME who decided I didn't need a car my first quarter. But I really want my car back. I hate using the bus. It takes forever and I love to explore on my own, not by which route I am on. I'm sick of asking my parents for money; I hate that I cannot make my own. I feel horribly selfish and childish when asking for money. I hate it.
There's no history here. There are big, new buildings and yeah they're made of brick but there is no signs of aging here. Just NEW growth and NEW development. Where's the history?
I just want to aimlessly wander the hills of Scotland..is that really too much to ask?
(K sorry..I watched Braveheart the other night and it brought me back to my roots..that country is freaking beautiful)
I don't know, this is just going to take me a reeeeeeally long time to get used to.
And who knows; maybe I never will. But that means I can go be someplace else!
Like Scotland. Or India. Or Tacoma.. ♥
Enjoy the evening.
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| okay whatever |
[14 Oct 2005|12:46pm] |
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music |
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my roommate only plays queen..its not a bad thing |
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...if you are reading this, leave one memory of you and I together! It
doesn't matter if I know you a little or a lot, anything you remember!
Next, post this in your blog and see how many people leave a memory
about you.
BOLD MEANS DO IT.
In other news, since I am a music student, this
is all I ever do (and since I do it so much, I
even messed up):
No, I mean it. I haven't written any papers, taken any tests..
Again, not complaining.
It's just funny.
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